They say that almost around 50% of marriages all around the world end up in a divorce. If you think about it, 5 out of 10 marriages are doomed to fail, and according to this, it is very likely for us to be involved in a divorce if we decide to get married.
If we marry, divorce is just one of those things that might (or might not) happen, yet, if you are already reading this article, is very likely that you are already thinking about it, even if it means that you are considering it yourself, or something that both of you decided together.
Whatever the case is, the sole idea of divorcing the person you married can be very intimidating, daunting, and even sad, regardless of the circumstances behind it. It can also be a very complicated and tedious process, as shown at https://www.wikihow.com/File-for-Divorce. It requires a lot of preparation, mentally, physically, and legally speaking.
A very important thing to consider is that, inside of the United States, the laws and requirements needed to file and process a divorce differs between states, so researching the requirements of your estate is absolutely necessary.
That’s why we are here to help. In this article, we will talk about various aspects of filing a divorce inside of Oklahoma, and some considerations you should have in mind while doing it. We will also talk about aspects of divorcing that might come in handy, such as how to cope with it before, during, and after the process, and the things you should think about before deciding whether to divorce or not.
That being said, let’s talk about the initial things people should think about before divorcing, and how to manage the planning process.
When the Idea Wanders Your Head
A lot of divorces happen because one of the parties involved starts to think about it. The idea roams their head and they seriously begin to wonder how their lives would be without their partners.
This usually means that said person is incredibly unhappy with their situation and doesn’t believe that the relationship is going somewhere, thus, they just prefer to take action instead of letting the situation get worse.
Regardless of the circumstances you are going through, if the idea of divorcing your partner is wandering your head, you should consider it with a lot of patience and wisdom. That being said, if you are in a situation that is putting your mental and physical health in danger, you shouldn’t even consider it, and look for help as soon as possible.
If your situation is more tolerable and much less dangerous than that, ideally, you might want to take your time, and even seek advice from the people you consider trustworthy, and talk to them about your situation, with as much honesty and transparency as you possibly can.
Now, as shown over here, there are some questions you should ask yourself before making the ultimate decision. Some of these questions are meant to ensure that you are 100% ready for this, and you won’t have regrets in the future. Now, let’s go one by one:
- What is the reason behind wanting to divorce?This can be very difficult to assess, even more considering that being objective under those circumstances can be much harder than what people expect. However, it is important for you to have a solid idea of what you are going through and what you feel about the situation, and what are the actual problems mortifying your relationship.On the other hand, do you believe that these problems have been bluntly communicated? Is your communication managed poorly, or always ends up in conflict? Is an affair part or the sole reason behind your desire to divorce? Are you also part of the problems, but you are unwilling to change or be better?
If you can ask these questions, going through the next questions will be much easier, and the answers might be able to give you some insight into the situation.
- What actions have you taken to deal with said problems?Believe it or not, a lot of people are fast to give up when it comes to relationships, even when one of the parties involved wants to try their best to improve it. Some people don’t even consider the idea of trying to improve their relationships. That being said, what has both of you done to improve your current situation, if the problem is still manageable?Marriage counseling and couple therapy are some of the options you can go for. If you already tried, you can still give it a second chance with another counselor, since it is well known that not all counselors are suitable for all marriages. Still, professional help is often recommended, so you might as well give it a go.
- Are there any children in your family?One of the problems a lot of marriages go through when divorce is on the table are the children. Considering how the divorce will affect their lives is absolutely important since it can definitely cause them a lot of harm if the marriage is handled without care and consideration on their behalf.Considering all the problems that could be caused by the divorce, you should be especially careful about the decision. Still, it is never healthy to remain in an unhappy marriage just because of the children. As long as both parties involved are mature enough and serious about the children’s happiness, things can be managed properly, and their safety can definitely be protected.
- Have you thought about the future?
Considering how will your life be after divorcing is another aspect of the process. Ideally, you should perceive yourself as being much happier, or at least leading a more peaceful life, after the procedure is completed.
For some people, this can be very difficult, just because of the attachment they might feel for the other person and the memories they have together. If your partner is the sole reason behind your happiness, and he or she threatens your mental and physical health on a regular basis, not having a solid idea of what the future will be like doesn’t matter. You should prioritize yourself first, then afterward, take decisions based on your circumstances.
Now, if you have asked yourself these questions, and you are more than sure that divorcing is the way to go, you will need to plan everything as neatly as possible, for the sake of approaching the divorce with ease. If you live in Oklahoma, the next section will be especially useful for your situation.
Divorcing in Oklahoma: The Things You’ll Need
Now that the decision has been taken, you’ll need to prepare a lot of things for the process. The process usually involves getting your hands on specific forms and engaging in specific procedures that might be tedious at first, but as long as you take things with patience and enough organization, you’ll be just fine.
First of all, you’ll need a document known as the Petition for Dissolution of Marriage, mostly known just as a petition. This is the initial document you’ll require, but you’ll also need:
- Petition for Dissolution of Marriage Form (click for more info)
- Entry of Appearance and Waiver of Service
- UCCJEA AFFIDAVIT
- Decree of Dissolution of Marriage
- Custody Plan
- Visitation Schedule
- Child Support Computation
- Qualified Domestic Relations Order
- Temporary Orders
- Application for Temporary Orders
- Summons and Automatic Temporary Injunction
- Relocation Order
- Emergency Custody Order
These are the main documents you will need, but I would definitely recommend this divorce forms and procedures guide for a more detailed take on the matter, and the things you should consider during the whole journey. It provides a lot of information about how Oklahoma handles divorce, and some frequently asked questions that you might want to check out.
There’s also the fact that you can deal with the procedure by yourself without a lawyer as long as you are properly prepared for it. If you believe you’ll need help, you can always hire a law firm to help you out.
The great thing about having a professional by your side is that most of the time, it is capable of guaranteeing peaceful and effortless resolutions to all problems that might arise and allow you to enjoy a much smoother procedure with less stress and worries, thus, it is generally recommended to have a lawyer by your side in case you are feeling worried or uncertain.
Coping with the Divorce
Now, let’s talk about what life is probably going to be like once you divorce. It is indeed true that some people are better at handling a divorce than others. In fact, there are people that feel relieved and even happy after their divorce, but a large percentage of the population will feel unhappy and even regret their decision, which is something you will probably have to deal with once the process ends.
In fact, there was a study conducted in 2002 where around 10,000 married couples were asked whether they were happy with their marriage or not, and then they were asked the same question 5 years later. A lot of people said that their marriage could be considered happy, and 81% of the coupled that rated their marriage as unhappy, answered the contrary once they were asked 5 years later.
Now, around 53% of the people that ended up divorcing, said that they were happy with their life, meaning that a solid 47% of the people that divorced their partners were actually unhappy with their life.
This is not a surprise, considering how divorce is a very emotional and exhausting process that haunts people for a great portion of their lives, especially if you didn’t want it to happen and tried your best to save your marriage.
Although we don’t say that there are perfect coping mechanisms that will make the process completely bearable, there are some things you can do to ensure that your mental health and feelings are properly managed and confronted, for the sake of allowing yourself to heal. Some of the practices and mindsets you should have, include:
- Accepting your feelings. A very important aspect of grieving is accepting the way you feel. Ignoring your emotions and shutting yourself down will only make things more difficult for you, and although it might cause you more pain, it is the best way to heal your wounds over time.
- Understand that you are not alone.A big mistake people tend to commit when they divorce is self-isolation. They believe that no one will be able to understand their pain or even want to listen to their emotions. It is essential for you to understand that you are not alone and that your family and friends are there for you.If you have someone that is very close to you, be honest with them and tell them that you will probably talk about your feelings with them, for the sake of coping with everything you might be dealing with.
You can even consider the idea of writing a journal, engaging in healthy hobbies, or receiving the help of a professional if needed. Activities like meditation, jogging, gardening, or even taking care of a pet, can greatly improve your mental health, so consider them if you feel like they could help you out.
- There’s more ahead of you.
Losing your partner might be one of the worst things someone can experience, even more considering how many expectations are set upon marriage. However, life has many things to offer, more than you can even begin to imagine, and as long as you are willing to live on, you’ll surely find peace and happiness. Just make sure to remain yourself that moving on is your main goal, and once you do, enjoying life and being at peace with yourself, should be your top priority.
